Monday, July 18, 2011

Weekly Digest

Listening to “Tattoo” by Jordin Sparks, while on the train back to DC from Connecticut. I’ve always loved this song not just because it touches my heart, but because there’s a clear visual of reality in it. Things we experience from day - to - day where we meet people, they influence us, take things from us and vice versa …and then they’re gone. It may hurt, it may bruise, or for others, it may feel good. Whichever way you want to look at it, there’s an effect.
The general idea behind this song is taken from a script where she falls in love with a dude, he screws up and the relationship ends…and now she finally realizes that it’s time to move on and enjoy every minute of life. Cool.
That’s what I always took away from the song although, I’ve never really been hurt 
by love per se.

*Just got to New York. Share the wonderful view of the sunset with me*

As the song came up on my iPod along with the impulse to write, the only memories that came to me were of my brother and how through him, I’m encouraged to live on like every moment is my last. I spent a good amount of this weekend reflecting as I spoke to people who I hadn’t seen in a couple of years, and every one of them asked how I was fairing without my brother. Honestly, I choked every time the question came up. It hurt; the void still remains.
Shortly after, I compose myself and I realize that although I feel the gaping hole  deep within, he is still very much a part of me. This past weekend I realized that I’m not only living for myself, but for him as well.

*New Jersey*

 Moments when I give up on myself, thoughts of him get me going again. I can’t be selfish. I, personally, don’t consider myself a selfish person, but I do realize that I cannot decide to sit and commiserate because he is not here to witness my accomplishments, my downs, or even party with me(yes! We were the party buddies!). I will not deny the fact that I get discouraged to make future plans or dare to dream ever so often, simply because I’m reminded of how he had dreams and well, here we are today… they remain unfulfilled. Is that enough of a reason not to live? Not to dream? NO, it isn’t.  That appears more like creating a façade, and letting your fears take over. My faith does not permit that I let fear rule me. If I were to let that be, then that which I call faith would be futile.

That being said, I encourage you all to live, let live, and live on. Let your zest for life not quench because you do not get what you want (or THINK you NEED), your friendship/relationship falls apart, you lose your job, or even because you lose a loved one.  Get rid of those boundaries which you’ve (un)consciously set upon yourself. That “look” that you think you can’t dare to try? Go ahead and PULL IT OFF! I promise it won’t hurt. * I know this because I have been trying this out all summer* …  Look around you, and you will see that someone is far worse than you are so make use and appreciate the little blessings you receive every SINGLE day. The gift of life is precious…don’t take it for granted. When God sees that you’re appreciative of those, He is sure to entrust you with bigger things. Leave it all to Him. One thing I am reminded of every day is that for everything that happens, there is a reason. We 
may not always understand why, but it all comes together for good.

Have a beautiful week and don’t forget to LIVE & LOVE…and SMILE while you’re at it!

Chocolate Kisses

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